The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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