i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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