Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize