Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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