Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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