Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize