You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
