I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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