They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
