I cannot find my penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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