Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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