Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?