i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him