Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
