just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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