Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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