Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
