Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize