she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
