I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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