I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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