It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
