Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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