Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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