I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize