Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
