she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
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15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
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I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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