I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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