can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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