Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
