I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
