I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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