I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
