Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
