i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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