That's intense
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
