Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
