he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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