i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
