I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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