Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
