I just made out with a guy for $7.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You don't make any sense
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