so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
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I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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