I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I understand Curling. That high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
