Cold hands, warm shart.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Pants are for mortals
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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