you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
