And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
