Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize