I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
