just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize