We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
