i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
