direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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