I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
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'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
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i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.