Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?