Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
