only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao