i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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