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• (313): View more from Michigan

  remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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• (310): View more from California

  A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening

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