BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
