he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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