Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
