after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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