I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
