I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize