I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
