I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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