trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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