i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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