THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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